Susan Lewis Poetry

We've gone through so many changes
I get used to one way
Then it becomes another
I don't know where i fit in
Where I belong
Or do I
I don't feel I do
Anymore
And I sit here missing you.

But knowing it has to be
I have no say in it
I am confused
Not knowing when
Am I allowed to speak
Am I allowed to write
Is it an interruption
Or a gladness
And I sit here missing you.

The expectations I had
Cost me a lot
I learned the hard way
Again
People change
Relationships change
Feelings change
Love shifts and mutates
Into so much unknown
And I sit here missing you.

We used to laugh
Used to cry
Used to share our hearts
Our fears
Our worries
Our dreams
Now all that is shared
Is a passing hello
A quick goodbye
"Talk to you later"
Then its been days
And my heart aches
I wonder why
Why its all changed
Why you went away
And can't help but think
It's me
I caused it
I let too much of my pain show
Spoke too much of my hurts
Opened myself too wide
Showed my tears
And this is the result
And I cry
And cry
And cry
And I sit here missing you.

I'm hoping if I change
If I keep quiet
Keep my hurts inside
Keep my sorrows to myself
Maybe you'll come back
Maybe
Maybe you won't
Maybe I'll learn to live without you
And then maybe
Maybe I wont miss you so much.

I cant change it
My words fail
Again and again
"The Lord gives
And the Lord takes away"
Thank you Lord
For giving me
A little time
Of comaraderie
Of kinship
of love
Now I ask for strength
To heal my shattered heart
To let go
(If you love someone
Set them free)
Of what I feel
Of what I love
Of what I need
And to accept what is
It's so hard
To let go
Of what became
A part of me
And I hug my knees to my chest
And I bleed
And I ache
And I cry
And cry
And cry
And you cannot see
That I'm dying inside
And still I sit here
And still I'm missing you
....God how I'm missing you....

Poet: Susan Lewis